Week VI: The Undiscovered Country

With the orc guards behind them and a sea of corpses, or at least a shallow lake, at their feet, the party recollected themselves. It occurred to the narrator that it would be so much easier if the party had a group name to refer to them by, like The Orc-Slayers, The Happenstancers, or the Bill Beardians. Yeah, actually, from now on the narrator will refer to a party member as a Beardian, for clarity's sake.

So, the Beardians were standing around healing each other, right? Then they got bored and began to actually explore the dungeon, which, in the Beardian frame of mind, was apparently best performed by rushing headlong into pitch black darkness. Luckily, orcs didn't seem to be the best trap-setters and much ground was covered in a short time. The decrepit ruins of the dwarven mine were, in fact, ruined, with cave-ins and chunks of fire-damaged debris scattered about, suggesting some sort of disaster that must have occurred some time ago. The passages leading east to -- according to Elder Wilhelm's map -- the cafeteria and brewery were discovered. Lucky, exploring the old dorms to the south, found a spare dagger hidden in a dwarven bunk-bed (the bed being somewhat novel, since the second bunk was beneath the ground-level one -- classic dwarven thinking). Andy the anonymous druid explored the former bakery, finding a large cave-in cutting off a part of the chamber. From the other side he could make out voices, but they were too muffled to make out traces of words or language. He also discovered a large oven with a hole leading out from the back, large enough for a small creature to squeeze through. He began to send his anonymous eagle in to explore -- the bird could only make out darkness from as far as it went.

Some of the Beardians were strangely drawn to a closet down a western passage: Eddi went in first, then as K'Phalvius followed the only sound heard was Eddi saying something about seven minutes in heaven before the cleric locked the closet door from the inside.

Meanwhile, Chauncey the anonymous wizard, who'd appeared inexplicably for no apparent reason and had been immediately accepted as a Beardian, cautiously felt her way through the darkness of the western passage, past the closet holding the cleric and ranger, from which strange sounds were emanating. She stopped as she reached an opening of the passage, unable to see any further. K'Phalvius' wolf, also yet unnamed, held no such qualms and barreled right past her. As the wolf reached the opening, he managed to get a good view of the passage and telepathically transmitted the information to K'Phalvius': the canine stood in the middle of an intersection, with the passage continuing westward, and a second passage leading north and south. Oh, and there was an orc ambush waiting for some unfortunate quadruped to turn the corner so they could stab him full of holes. They did.

The wolf's vision suddenly went blank in K'Phalvius' mind. The death of his animal companion must have only worsened whatever horrifying situation he and Eddi were in in that closet and he came crashing out the door. Alerted to the threat, the Beardians quickly took formation: they all scrambled into the tiny corridor, stepping over each other and wrestling to see who could get the first hit on the orcs. Auren won and, surrounded by three orcs with no way of retreating in the cramped conditions, was promptly beaten into a bloody pulp. Seeing this, the Beardians realized just how stupid they were being and backed off: Eddi and Lucky hid in the closet (with no time for hanky-panky) and K'Phalvius and Chauncey retreated out of the orcs' reach, with Andy valiantly guarding them.

As the battle raged down the corridor, Lucky readied her blade to sneak attack any orc who passed the closet. Beside her, Eddi considered the thought of breaking through a five-foot-thick wall to flank the orcs. Deciding to attempt the incredible act, he prepared his daily feat of strength, a divine favor bestowed upon him by Kord the god of strength himself. The burly cleric bundled his hefty muscles and threw himself like a cannonball against the brick wall, bouncing off to the floor and severely dislocating his shoulder. Lucky laughed.

The heroes of the battle turned out to be K'Phalvius and the mysterious wizardly newcomer. The ranger's arrows flew true to their mark, that mark between an orc's two ears. Chauncey decidedly impressed everyone by shooting out numerous magic missiles to antagonize the orcs, then barbecuing them with a huge lightening bolt spell. The single surviving orc flew into a blood rage and hurled himself down the corridor ... right into the waiting dagger of Lucky.

With the battle won, Eddi reluctantly used his best healing spell on Auren. The Beardians began to whine that they needed to sleep for the day, even though they'd only been exploring and fighting for about a half an hour and it was still bright morning outside the dungeon. At this point, they all experienced a sudden miracle as God spoke unto them thus: "SUCK IT UP." And so, they pressed on down the western passage, more cautiously now.

The passages were lined with rails, apparently for the use of mine carts, and many ways were blocked off by cave-ins. The party shortly found a large cavern which appeared to be one of the vital work areas of the mine. Lucky agreed to scout it out and carefully sneaked through the darkness. After a few minutes of sneakiness, she reported back: the cavern was filled with mining equipment and stairs and ledges. Chutes lead down from these ledges to the decrepit mine carts and rails below. There were at least three orcs with the higher ground.

Finally realizing that rushing headlong into a battle isn't always the best plan, the Beardians worked out a simple strategy and put it into action. Chauncey cast a magic light to distract the enemies while Lucky sneaked back into the cave to sneak-attack the closest orc. The halfing skirted beneath the ledge holding the unknowing monster and crawled carefully up a chute behind him. Just as she began to bring her blade down on his back, a second orc appeared from the darkness and, springing into action against Lucky, shouted a warning. The cavalry was too late -- as one movement, Lucky danced about the second orc's thrust and found her mark on her target, who collapsed, KO'd, to the ground.

Then the game ended and everyone went home. To be continued.